2026-27 Week 1
🏒 THE TUESDAY NIGHT HOCKEY HERALD 🍺
Niagara Falls Over 30 Alumni Hockey League
Week 1 — September 22, 2026
THE OLD GUYS ARE BACK… AND SOMEHOW NOBODY BROKE A HIP
The wait is over. The sticks have been taped, the beer has been purchased, the excuses have already started, and the Tuesday Night Over 30 Niagara Falls Alumni Hockey League is officially back!
After months of off-season training that consisted primarily of golf, barbecues, and saying “I’m in pretty good shape,” eight teams finally hit the ice Tuesday night. And judging by the Week 1 scores, it looks like Father Time may have been left off the waiver wire.
🔥 WEEK 1 BIGGEST STORY: HHJ DENTISTRY STARTS WITH A SMILE
HHJ Dentistry 9 — GI Greatscape 2
HHJ Dentistry wasted absolutely no time reminding the league that apparently dental professionals can also score goals. Matt Shumate Jr. led the offensive assault with 4 goals and an assist, while Rich Jenkins added 3 goals and an assist. That's seven goals between two guys.
Meanwhile, GI Greatscape managed just two goals while spending considerably more time in the penalty box than they probably planned.
PIM Battle:
HHJ Dentistry — 6
GI Greatscape — 14
Somebody may want to remind GI that this is beer league hockey, not the Stanley Cup Finals.
🚨 AAA TIMBERLINE: “WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED”
AAA Timberline 12 — Villani's Landscape 9
If you like offense, this was your game. TWENTY-ONE GOALS. Apparently neither team brought a defense. Tom Hanna led AAA Timberline with 4 goals and 3 assists, while Josh Bluman added 2 goals and 5 assists. That's a lot of points for a league where half the players probably need to stretch for 20 minutes before tying their skates.
Villani's Landscape wasn't exactly sitting back either. Dave Kok and Bryan Hood each scored 3, with Dave Ciesielski adding 2.
The goalies on both teams are reportedly still looking for their gloves.
💥 BRICK OVEN GRINDERS START COOKING
Brick Oven Grinders 6 — Watchtower Financial 4
Nick Laratta came out firing with 3 goals and an assist, helping Brick Oven Grinders secure the victory. Scott Retzlaff added two goals, while the rest of the team apparently decided they were going to specialize in assists.
Brick Oven finished with 6 goals on the night, while Watchtower Financial got two from Sean McAndrew and one each from Ryan Coyne and Rob Martin. Ryan Coyne also added two assists. A solid opening night for Brick Oven—and a reminder that apparently pizza and hockey are a winning combination.
🔧 MACKENZIE'S AUTOMOTIVE PUTS THE PEDAL DOWN
MacKenzie’s Automotive 6 — Greater Niagara Mechanical 4
MacKenzie's Automotive opened the season with a win despite a strong showing from Greater Niagara Mechanical. Dave DeMizio led the way with 3 goals, while Jeff Hammer, James Webb and Joe Dougherty each added one. Steve Ortman scored twice.
Greater Niagara Mechanical got goals from Ryan Stayner, Marc Braun, Mike DiMatteo and Tim Finkle. Ryan Stayner also contributed 2 assists, while Sam Prezioso added two helpers.
The final score was 6-4, but judging by the numbers, somebody forgot to tell these guys this is supposed to be a recreational league.
📊 AFTER ONE WEEK…
The standings are already starting to take shape.
🥇 1-0 CLUB
HHJ Dentistry — 2 points
AAA Timberline — 2 points
Brick Oven Grinders — 2 points
MacKenzie's Automotive — 2 points
🍺 0-1 CLUB
Watchtower Financial
Greater Niagara Mechanical
Villani's Landscape
GI Greatscape
But let's be honest…
It's Week 1.
There are still plenty of games left for everyone to go from “We're winning the championship” to
“Who has the extra beer?”
🏒 PLAYER OF THE WEEK
Matt Shumate Jr. — HHJ Dentistry
4 Goals + 1 Assist = 5 Points
Five points in one game is enough to earn the first unofficial “Old Guy Who Still Has It” Award of the season.
Honorable mention goes to Tom Hanna, who put up 7 points himself with 4 goals and 3 assists.
🍺 BEER LEAGUE RULE #1
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR INJURY UNTIL AFTER THE GAME.
If you hurt yourself in the first period, you have two choices:
A) Keep playing.
B) Pretend you didn't hurt yourself until somebody asks why you're limping.
Anything else is considered dramatic.
🚿 IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: SHOWER AFTER THE GAME!
League officials would like to remind everyone that the post-game shower is not optional.
Yes, we know you're over 30.
Yes, we know you're tired.
Yes, your back hurts.
Yes, you have work tomorrow.
SHOWER ANYWAY.
The locker room is a place for team bonding, storytelling, questionable stretching techniques, and explaining why your three-point night was actually way better than the score sheet indicates.
Plus, nobody wants to sit next to the guy who says:
“I don't really sweat.”
You do.
We all do.
Take the shower.
🍻 FINAL THOUGHT
Week 1 reminded us exactly why beer league hockey exists.
It's not about winning every game.
It's not about looking good.
It's certainly not about skating gracefully.
It's about getting together with a bunch of guys you've known forever, talking trash, chasing a puck around for an hour, pretending your legs still work, and then heading out afterward to solve the world's problems over a couple beers.
The season is officially underway.
The standings will change.
The chirping will get louder.
The injuries will get mysteriously more serious.
And somebody, probably somebody's dad, will inevitably yell:
“GET THE PUCK OUT!”
See you Tuesday. 🏒🍺