2026-27 Week 5
🏒🍺 THE TUESDAY NIGHT HOCKEY HERALD
AAA Timberline 8 - Brick Oven Grinders 7
AAA Timberline came out on top, improving to 4-0-1 and keeping its spot at the top of the standings. Josh Bluman had an absolutely ridiculous night, scoring 5 goals and adding 2 assists. That's seven points in one game. At this point, the rest of the league might want to check whether he's secretly playing in a different age division. Rob Cushman added 2 goals and 2 assists, while Tom Hanna chipped in with a goal and 3 assists.
Brick Oven Grinders didn't exactly roll over. Shaughan Irving and Ben Certo each scored twice, while Mike Seelbinder, Scott Retzlaff and Nick Laratta also found the net. Brick Oven put up seven goals and STILL lost. That's the kind of night where the goalie starts looking into other hobbies.
The verdict: AAA stays undefeated, Brick Oven takes the loss, and both teams probably needed a long sit-down afterward.
🦷 HHJ DENTISTRY KEEPS DRILLING
HHJ Dentistry 8 — Greater Niagara Mechanical 4
HHJ Dentistry continues to prove that you don't need to be young to put the puck in the net. Matt Shumate Jr. led the way with 2 goals and 3 assists, while Martin DeRosa added 2 goals. Rich Jenkins contributed a goal and 3 assists, while Dan Costa, Jim Scaringi and Jack Goeddertz also scored.
Greater Niagara Mechanical got two goals from Tim Finkle, with Marc Braun and Ryan Thuman adding one each.
GNM managed four goals, but HHJ's offense was simply too much to handle. HHJ is now 4-1, sitting comfortably in second place and looking like a team nobody wants to see on the schedule.
The verdict: HHJ keeps climbing, while GNM is left wondering why eight goals against feels like a recurring theme in this league.
🔥 WATCHTOWER FINANCIAL WINS THE EIGHT-GOAL BATTLE
Watchtower Financial 8 — GI Greatscape 6
If you enjoy offense, this was your game. Fourteen goals. A lot of action. And probably several goalies quietly questioning their life choices. Sean McAndrew led Watchtower with 3 goals, while Rob Martin added 2 goals and 2 assists. Ryan Coyne, Bob Bucci and Nick Duquette also scored, while Jason Pietrowski dished out an impressive 5 assists. Five assists! At that point, Pietrowski was basically running the entire offense while everyone else took turns shooting.
GI Greatscape put up six goals of its own, led by Jeff Gruarin and Mike Mondoux, who each scored twice. Jim Lumadue and Scott Duscher added one apiece. GI showed plenty of fight, but Watchtower's offense proved to be the difference.
The verdict: Watchtower gets the win, GI gets six goals, and somebody should probably buy the goalies dinner after that one.
🌳 VILLANI'S LANDSCAPE FINALLY GETS A WIN!
Villani's Landscape 3 — MacKenzie's Automotive 1
STOP THE PRESSES!
Villani's Landscape has officially won a hockey game! After spending the opening weeks collecting losses like they were trading cards, Villani's finally got one in the win column. David Kok led the way with 2 goals, while Gordie Stewart added another.
MacKenzie's Automotive managed just one goal from Joe Dougherty, with Steve Ortman adding an assist.
For Villani's, this was more than a win. It was a chance to finally walk into the locker room without having to hear someone say, "Well, at least we got some exercise." MacKenzie's, meanwhile, will be looking to bounce back next week.
The verdict: Villani's gets its first win, the losing streak is over, and somewhere in Niagara Falls, a beer is being raised in celebration.
🏆 PLAYER OF THE WEEK
JOSH BLUMAN — AAA TIMBERLINE
5 Goals | 2 Assists | 7 Points
Seven points in one game.
Five goals.
Two assists.
At this point, the league might want to check his skates for rocket boosters.
Bluman delivered a monster performance in AAA's 8-7 win over Brick Oven Grinders and helped keep his team undefeated.
When the other team scores seven goals and you still win, somebody on your roster has to have a special night.
Bluman apparently decided to have an entire special week in one game.
Honorable mention: Jason Pietrowski of Watchtower Financial, who recorded five assists in the win over GI Greatscape.
📊 THE STANDINGS AFTER FIVE WEEKS
🥇 THE UNDEFEATED CLUB
1. AAA Timberline — 4-0-1 — 9 points
Still on top. Still unbeaten. Still scoring goals like they're trying to meet a production quota.
🦷 THE CHASERS
2. HHJ Dentistry — 4-1 — 8 points
HHJ is right behind AAA and showing no signs of slowing down.
3. Brick Oven Grinders — 3-2 — 6 points
Seven goals wasn't enough this week. Time to tighten things up.
🍺 THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK
4. Watchtower Financial — 2-2-1 — 5 points
A big win gets Watchtower back to .500 in the win-loss column, with a tie on the record.
5. Greater Niagara Mechanical — 1-2-2 — 4 points
Another tough night, but there's plenty of season left.
😬 LOOKING TO CLIMB
6. MacKenzie's Automotive — 1-3-1 — 3 points
7. GI Greatscape — 1-3-1 — 3 points
Both teams need a little momentum and perhaps a few fewer goals against.
8. Villani's Landscape — 1-4 — 2 points
The losing streak is over! Now the mission is to make sure it doesn't start again.
🍻 THE WEEKLY BEER LEAGUE REPORT
Five weeks into the season, we've learned:
AAA Timberline is still undefeated.
HHJ Dentistry is breathing down AAA's neck.
Josh Bluman is apparently playing on rookie difficulty.
Watchtower Financial can score in bunches.
Villani's Landscape has finally joined the winner's club.
Brick Oven Grinders can score seven goals and still go home unhappy.
And, as always, the most important lesson remains unchanged.
🚿 THE WEEKLY LOCKER ROOM PSA
TAKE. THE. SHOWER.
Gentlemen, we're five weeks into the season.
You are over 30.
You have played hockey.
You are sweating.
Your hockey bag smells like it has its own mailing address.
TAKE THE SHOWER.
The locker room is for celebrating wins, complaining about losses, explaining why you were open on the back door, and telling everyone how you almost scored.
It is not a laboratory for discovering new smells.
Nobody wants to sit next to the guy who says:
"I didn't really sweat tonight."
Yes, you did.
We all did.
Your equipment has been through things that should never be discussed in polite company.
Get in the shower. Your teammates will thank you.
TAKE THE SHOWER.
Nick Robinson didn't even play, but he took a shower with the boys anyway! That's the definition of dedication and camaraderie!
🍻 FINAL WHISTLE
Five weeks down.
AAA Timberline remains unbeaten.
HHJ Dentistry is right behind them.
Brick Oven Grinders are licking their wounds.
Watchtower Financial is scoring in bunches.
And Villani's Landscape finally has a reason to celebrate.
The standings are tightening, the scoring is getting crazier, and everyone's collective knees are starting to wonder if there's a retirement plan for beer league hockey. But that's what makes this league great. We're here for the competition, the camaraderie, the chirping, and the chance to feel young for an hour every Tuesday night. Then we spend Wednesday walking downstairs sideways.
See you Tuesday! 🏒🍺
Stretch first. Shower afterward. Blame the goalie whenever necessary.
— The Tuesday Night Hockey Herald
